Seriously, don't buy an iPad--go to Europe

First of all--I just discovered this band and really dig them.

Anyway..moving on...

It's been about a month since I've returned to America. I MISS YOU EUROPE! Why was I not born in a Scandinavian country? WHY? Maybe in my next life. Hopefully.

The end of my European adventure was spent with Anum. I messaged her earlier this year and said, "Hey wanna go farming with me in August?" Luckily she said yes-- probably after a mental What The Fuck? And that was that. 

I looked into an organisation called WWOOF and found two farms in Denmark that sparked interest. We decided to spend a few nights in Copenhagen before farming our asses off. Copenhagen was great--we took our time walking around meaning getting lost too often, hanging out in the Botanical gardens, seeing friends and making new ones, and of course finding our equally shared soul-mate Paul. 

Oh Paul. Paul was a cute little book cafe we were introduced to. EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT.  We ate there at least twice a day--and felt bad eating elsewhere Oh and we actually ate at a restaurant across from Paul, and the food was terrible  While I left to puke--my friend told the waitress that we weren't feeling well and she said "Oh yeah it's probably the cheese. It happens" WHAT REALLY? WE WILL NEVER DITCH YOU AGAIN PAUL! <3<3<3

Anyway, we then ran into some bad luck on our way to the first farm. We drank a bit too much the night before and decided to take a later train. Then we missed it. And the next one. And finally when the third train came it was right in front of us and we just...didn't get on. Once we realized that our train was zooming away, I looked at Anum and said "Fuck it, we aren't going." We decided 3 missed trains, and a help desk that opens RIGHT AFTER the train leaves = BAD OMEN. It's a funny situation to look back on but at the time I'm pretty sure we both wouldn't have minded going through a pack of cigarettes, killing each other, and tossing our luggage into a river. Poor Anum and her 900 kg suitcase. She packed more for two weeks than I packed for three months. 

Heading to the Healing Garden early was the best decision. Two train rides, a bus, and a ferry ride later we arrived on a small island called Fejo. The trip was just what we needed. She had the year from hell, and I had a really really rough time in Italy. It was really nice to be in a place where my only worry was "What am I cooking for dinner?" The island was very small. Everyone greets you --the weather was fantastic--pickable fruit all over the island--one pub with an owner that gave us free shots--bike rides--herb picking--lots of tea--good vegetarian food--making more jam than I probably ever will in a life time--homemade nutella--meditation--healing--new friends--dream-catchers--singing and dancing in the mornings--dressing up like a fairy and running down a hill--talks on fear and spirituality--Danish films--Goat cheese--so much goat cheese--did I mention goat cheese?--candle lit cabin--scary spiders--scary cats--fresh seaweed--crazy dancing--washing dishes with 3 people at once--and so much more.

I miss it so much. My heart craves the people and relationships I made this summer. I know that I am broke--and can barely afford my bills right now--but the experiences were completely worth it. I don't mind eating eggs for a few weeks. Seriously--don't buy an Ipad--go to Europe.

The garden really was paradise. I can't stop thinking about it, and I'm applying what I learned in such a short time to my life as a whole. I learned how to really listen to people--I became completely aware of my fears and what I need to work on, I realized it's okay feel a certain way--if you want to be pissed/angry/sad/happy You CAN and SHOULD allow yourself to be--it's fine--seriously--don't keep that shit inside--and most importantly I realized that I want to use what I have learned to further my learning (weird sentence--fuck it) and help others change their lives from it.

It is so so so so important to know some gardening basics. You can make medicine! In your back yard! That works! Seriously--the earth provides us with so much, and if just go back and re-learn the basics we will be okay. For the most part. 

Kind Words From The Airport Man

As May 27th approaches--my excitement increases. I can't wait to see Italy again. I can't wait to teach again. I can't wait for the insane stories I will have by the time I leave in August. Working in Italy last summer was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Being away from home didn't/doesn't bother me--but I never thought I would be able to teach, or would be given the opportunity to, or that I would even be good at it. Even with my first camp making me cry and yell and O.D. on geltato--it was worth it in the end--because if anything, the children now know a few songs about caterpillars, andddd can properly play mafia. Oops. 

As I approached the empty check-in counter at the airport, I was greeted with a kind smile--the man saw that I had a European backpack and asked me if I was going home. We got to talking, and I told him I was returning to Italy this summer to teach. He said,

"Make sure to enjoy it, because a lot of people don't get opportunities like this."

He made me realize how lucky I am. I might not be lucky financially, or materialistically, or whatever--but I have met some really amazing people, and I am slowly filling my awesome-story-bank. I wouldn't trade any of that for an Ipad. I'm really growing to love my need for travel, and exploration of cultures. I think I have learned the most about the world from everything I have seen. I will admit--I am a bit snobbier, especially when it comes to food. I laughed at the "Euro Restaurant " on my way to the gate. Their pastries ain't got shit on the ones in Nice, or Berlin. Sigh.  I am so ready for some amazing food.

It's strange how the universe looks out for us sometimes. Three summers ago when I was going through a terrible breakup and family problems--I received a letter from my Russian grandmother. We hadn't spoke in ten years, and she paid for me to fly to Russia with her for a few weeks. When I was in desperate need of a vacation for spring break this year, I woke up to find a random grant deposited into my bank account the next morning. When I was freaking out about not having a bit of money for my trip--I received a check in the mail. I promise I don't shit out hundreds. I wish. But I am really lucky sometimes. THANK YOU UNIVERSE! FOR REAL!

I think there are more magical things going on around us than we are aware of.

And nowwww, I am boarding for Maryland.
Off to a week of crazy kid fun!

You were a 5 star now youz a 1.

I'm back. 

I think it's interesting how our attraction to people can TOTALLY and COMPLETELY cause our minds to lie. The last guy I kind of dated ended up being a tool. I saw him a few more times after said "toolness," because let's face it..I was lonely and had needs. What blew my mind was how unattractive he was after my liking spree ended. If I had a dick, I would have struggled getting it up. I think a stripper from Cafe Risque' would have had more luck. Don't get me wrong he isn't ugly AT ALL, but I guess when a guy is not who you think he is, you find it mad easy to change his 5 star rating to half a star. Yes, I realized I just typed "mad easy," I guess it's one of those days. 

I remember the last time I saw him I layed there looking into his eyes thinking "You really disgust me, and I hate you. I see your smile. Mine is totally fake. I know you think I'm hot. Can you leave?" I smiled back. I felt like a player.

It was one of those--I-need-to-be-on-something-for-this-to-work-moments.

It was one of those Maybe-if-I-close-my-eyes-and-pretend-you-are-Don Draper-this-can-work-moments.

It was one of those Shit-I'm-not-in-Kansas-anymore-moments.

I think I need to date a boy that fits this description and article:

"His Facebook friend count will be over-the-roof, and his wall will be plastered with the broken English ‘miss-you’ of friends he met along the way. When he travels, he makes lifelong friends in an hour. And although contact with these friends is sporadic and may be far-between, his bonds are unmessable and if he wanted, he could couch surf the world… again."

Date a boy who travels.

Every guy I dated aside from my first boyfriend, has been..in better words a pussy. The second guy I dated in high school was a toxic, fucked up, bi-polar mess--and at the time I was too young and stupid to end it sooner. I can't believe I didn't stand up for myself, but I guess that's what growing up is all about.

The next boyfriend I had was a magician (for real), and he magically made another girl appear, while I was stored away in a box with knives poking at me. The common theme among my relationships has been their jealousy of my "social butterflyness," and they also, they have had no desire to travel.

How can you not  travel? Honestly, I would have no problem getting my degree and leaving. Teaching all over, working as a tutor--I don't care...I just want to see the world--it makes my soul happy. So yes, I need to date a boy that travels. I don't have time for guys that are somehow intimidated of my personality, or guys that half like me, or aren't accepting of the love I have to give. I have become much more open in the last year and I guess that's just too much to handle.

I've reached a point where I'm not really interested in a real relationship--I'd rather sit at home, cook, read, and watch The Office. I don't need a man--but hey you "pot-smoking-I'm-too-afraid-to-let-my-guard-down-fucker," I hope you miss me while I'm having the time of my life all summer :) Gainesville is a hell hole. How fitting for you :)

And to all the Denmark Boys...