Amanda Bynes

I don't normally dive into celebrity gossip, but this Amanda Bynes shit is hilarious. Poor Amanda. I remember being obsessed with All That  and The Amanda Show. What happened to her? I guess it's just really hard growing up with fame. Sure you get everything you want--you know...other than a social life...and a childhood. I don't really see how turning into a jewel-faced-internet-slut is an excuse though. She claims that she isn't doing drugs--maybe she needs to. Maybe she'd mellow out. My addiction started with a google image search of her. Then I moved on to articles. Then I started looking at her twitter. I even @ tweeted her. Any normal person giving her sympathy is getting  retweeted. I can only hope. Dreams do come true. 

But really.  I think Amanda Bynes is a genius. She's a 27 year old millionaire, and I think she's just bored. Why else would she try to look like Lindsay Lohan's twin? Or model herself after some stripper? I think maybe she's just trolling everyone--JUST LOOK AT HER TWEETS. And the girl wasn't really getting tons of work, and now she's getting publicity like crazy.

I AM GETTING WAY TO INTO THIS.

I also love that out of the seven people she follows--Barack Obama is one of them. You can count on Amanda's vote. #Much Respect.

And look at this video--It's a joke. It has to be. A video of her making duck faces for a minute.

What is the host of this show wearing? She looks just as bad. 

So this is what I have come up with. Amanda has tried to follow the footsteps of the last couple of fuckups in Hollywood. Examples.

Lindsay Lohan

Also getting sidetracked..but can I say how I think it's hilarious that in Lohan's twitter bio it says "Learning one day at a time." What exactly are you learning Lindsay!?

Then she pulled a Britney Spears/Miley Cirus:

What's next? An Amy Winehouse, or will she fake her death to get a V.I.P. pass to the 27's club? Or maybe she's trying to create a new character for the show. Totally possible--and how awesome would that be? Who knows. Who Knows. You are one sneaky girl Amanda.

I leave you with this. The pilot for the  Amanda Show. How it all began.

Click Here. 

Smooches. 

A Quickie & A Hot Waiter

I'm bored--so you guessed it! Time to blog! I started searching for rehearsal planning techniques, and organizational tips, and before I could finish my sentence, this is what came up. Are these really the top three? Run Away. Lose Weight. Successfully Overdose. I guess once losing weight fails, the only sensible solution is to take more pills than Lindsay Lohan and die. 

That's Hot. 

That was quick like I promised. Now on to the hot waiter. 

A friend and I went to a delicious local place in town tonight and we were greeted by a very enthusiastic waiter that was either on speed, or wanted a generous tip. When I told him to hold off on giving me bread he responded with I'd eat your bread. Thank you sir. Anyway, he was super cute and paid us quite a bit of attention. Maybe he thought we were lesbians? I did just cut all my hair off. Who knows.

But after telling us about his life, plans, and how comfortable we made him feel he eventually asked us what we were doing later tonight, and said that he had a few friends in town, and would we like to join him downtown later. We said yes, and ended up leaving our numbers. We have yet to be contacted but who knows. He was really cute, funny, and outgoing--but the longer we stayed, he got a little bit creepier. He filled our water glasses and looked at the two of us, for probably 5 seconds too long and said "Tonight's going to be a fun night."

What does that mean? Did he text his buddies in the bathroom saying, I found some fresh meat. You said you needed a few kidneys? So that was sign number one. Then he came back and refilled our water and just starred at me. As he walked away he said Was that creepy? Because that's what I was going for. Uhhh. This was one of those moments where he either was being creepy--or he realized he was accidentally creepy and made a joke as a cover up:something I do all the time. Well we left him our numbers anyway--but realized during dinner we revealed a few things. 

"We are pretty dirty." This was referring to our writing style and sense of open-mindedness

"My friend is a lightweight.. literally one margarita and BAM" Giving him a reason why she didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a drink there. 

Maybe I am completely over thinking everything. He was probably just a nice guy, looking for a good time, or he thought we'd make out for him for $1 ---but honestly--it's 10pm and I'm an old lady. He also wanted to go to Midtown--and anyone living here knows Midtown is crap. We have a bar called Balls....I do, however, find it hilarious that it's a popular spot for all the frat boys--and their balls are literally touching in there--there is no space to move. Soooo I'm just going to watch The Office and eat my cinnamon crunch scone. Thank you PMS. Thank you. Creep or not though--it was nice to get hit on. So thank you too waiter man.